How to Pray for Your Lost Loved One

Kathi Pelton

Most of us have a friend or family member that has not surrendered their lives to the Lord that we are praying for. It is the source of such grief to see that the precious Cornerstone that has become the strength and song of our lives is the stumbling block within their lives.

“For in Scripture it says: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe, “The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone,” and, “A stone that causes people to stumble and a rock that makes them fall.” They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭2:6-8‬ ‭

“Which is also what they were destined for.” These lost loved ones were created for and destined to have Jesus become the cornerstone of their lives. But how can you pray that what now is a stumbling block for them will be recognized as the cornerstone they need to secure their lives? Why are the prayers and “pleadings” for their salvation not having the effect that we desire? Here is a key for you…

The “god of this world” (the devil) is the source of your loved one’s deception. He darkens their eyes (blinds them) from the Light. Truly blind people cannot see any light and this is how the lost live; in total blindness.

“Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:4‬ 

If you spend most of your time praying for your loved one to see, to understand and to surrender without dealing with the source of their blindness then often results are limited. “They are unable to see the glorious light…”. Their eyes cannot see and their minds cannot understand.

But there is good news! You have authority over the “god of this world” and the demonic forces that are blinding and binding your loved one. 

“Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. But don’t rejoice because evil spirits obey you; rejoice because your names are registered in heaven.””

‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:19-20‬ 

You can bind the strongman with your authority in Christ. You can bind the blindness that the enemy has put upon their minds and hearts. Until you bind the one who is blinding them it is difficult to make headway with the words of truth that you present to them. They are unable to see, hear or understand truth and love. It all becomes a stumbling block to them and you can be labeled as that stumbling block. This can often cause a division in relationship between you and your loved one. 

In Acts 26, when Saul is changed to Paul by having his eyes opened to truth and light, God says to him that he is being sent out to,

“…to open their eyes, so they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God. Then they will receive forgiveness for their sins and be given a place among God’s people, who are set apart by faith in me.’”

‭‭Acts ‭26:18‬ ‭

What is blinding their eyes from seeing? The power of Satan! We can pray for supernatural encounters like Saul had when he turned to God (renaming him Paul) but we should also use the authority given to us through Christ to bind the power of the evil one that is binding their minds from receiving or understanding truth.

A number of years ago I was on a journey with the Lord to see the deliverance and salvation of someone very precious to me. They had experienced a lot of spiritual and emotional abuse that had resulting in their spiritual blindness. Step by step I was directed by the Lord in how to pray and what to say. Prayer had to come before words. Anytime that I would release words of truth without first entering into prayer and binding the strongman it would merely result in a stumbling block for them. When I’d take the time to pray with authority first my words would result in seeing the light of Jesus overcome darkness. This loved one not only came to the Lord but to this day continues to make Jesus the cornerstone of his life. 

There are times that these things happen instantaneously and there are times that you have to patiently walk with a loved one. Remember that once a house (life) is swept clean the enemy will try to return. Sometimes it is a process to see God fully occupy their lives and it will require you to bind the enemy again and again until all darkness is gone. Truth and light must occupy their lives leaving the enemy no room to enter in again. 

““When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, searching for rest. But when it finds none, it says, ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ So it returns and finds that its former home is all swept and in order. Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before.””

‭‭Luke‬ ‭11:24-26‬ ‭

We must be wise to the fact that the enemy is relentless in gaining back what he has lost. This is not to bring fear of a heavy yoke but to cause you to be relentless in prayer and in your authority. In peace and faith you can calmly stand in authority on their behalf. In the case of my loved one, it was a journey of seeing light overcome darkness. I believe that this is true with our own lives as well. We are becoming more enlightened all the time as we grow in truth. We are being freed from past strongholds that have blurred truth or filtered light. We have authority to bind the “god of this world” from our own lives as well. 

““I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18:18‬ ‭

Matthew 18 goes on to say that when two or more agree there is even more authority and power. It may be a good idea for you to ask a brother or sister in the Lord to come into agreement with you regarding your loved one.

It’s time to forbid the “god of this world” from blinding the God of Heaven and Earth from being seen and received in the lives of your friends and family. He is trespassing in a life that was destined to have Christ as their cornerstone. Be sure to stand in faith and thanksgiving along the way. Be led by the Spirit and always be sure to exercise your authority before you release the words of truth. You may be the one who prays and takes authority and God may send another to speak truth and message of His love. If the Spirit isn’t leading you to speak, ask Him to send the one who your loved one will listen to. Pray Matthew 9:38,

“So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.””

Be sure to follow the leading of the Spirit in all of these things because He knows what is best and His ways are higher than ours. We want to partner with Him always according to His wisdom. Lastly, love must be in all that you do and say. Anything said outside of the realm of love is merely a banging gong or resounding cymbal.

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:1-2‬ ‭

Now is the time to see our loved ones set free from the blindness that has kept them from truth and light. 

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