Oceans in the Desert

By Kathi Pelton

This morning my friend, Gypsy Dallas Smith, posted a story on her Facebook page that someone else had written. This story summed up many conversations that I’ve had recently with believers who are not living their promised abundant life that Jesus came to give them. Unfortunately, many of these believers have created an unbiblical narrative in their lives of self-governance based on self-led (not Spirit led) personal examination and self-imposed rules. Works have become their own measuring rod.

I was having a conversation with someone recently about this very subject. This person had created preset self-governing rules that lead them into a predisposed state of failure each and every day. This so-called failure had them apologizing to God continually throughout each day.

The Holy Spirit told me to tell them, “God doesn’t want you to apologize to Him for the next thirty days— just thank Him that Jesus’ sacrifice was and is enough.”

That’s surely is not the counsel that a leader gives very often! I said for them to fast apologies.

Many people have self made rules that lead them into believing that each day begins and ends with overwhelming opportunities to fail— this makes it difficult for them to get out of bed. This behavior prevents people from experiencing TRUE Spirit led repentance that actually ushers in freedom. It merely creates a life of rules and regrets. Not the promised abundant life that brings joy and peace. It also sets up a life of emotional highs and lows based on performance rather than a life of joy based on gratitude for the grace by which we are saved.

I have witnessed an up tick in people going through this joy-stealing, hope-robbing daily process of creating a rule driven life. I believe that it is partially due to the fact that the whole world around us appears out of control like a runaway train coming to the end of the tracks. When people feel like everything around them is out of control they can easily become prey to trying to create an personal environment of control— which often involves making rules and regulations that keep them focused on them alone. It’s a way to feel in control and yet they end up feeling more out of control than ever because they’ve created a law based system that must be carried out in their own strength.

There are also those who were just born with a deep sense of a personal conscientiousness that even prior to walking with Christ they held themselves to. They believe in having a high standard of excellence and a strong commitment to right living. Though this is an admirable trait on the surface- mankind has proven historically that accomplishing this in your own strength more often than not leads to failure, control issues, being judgmental of yourself and others and of feeling like a fraud. It also often leads people to arrogance or self-hatred— and almost always depression and anxiety.

Here is the story that Gypsy shared this morning that stirred me to write this.

JUST RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.
I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it. I wanted to have something more substantial. Something more profound. But I didn’t. So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it. What kind of grown woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with actual problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes? But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“JUST RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me, “Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares? These rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times. I felt like I had conquered a dragon. The next day, I took a shower lying down. A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever they fit. There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry. But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES. RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE! (Credit ~ Kate Scott)

We have such a hope in Christ because He paid the price for every sin and failure of mankind. His righteousness has become our righteousness and His victory, our victory. He fulfilled every law without failure which has now been applied to our “life account.”

It is time to sit with the Holy Spirit and truly look at the way that you are living and what “rules” you have created that are not from Him.

Of course we do not want to use the grace offered to us (not only at the time of salvation but everyday) as a license to sin without repercussions— for we still reap what we sow— but many of you are wearing yourselves down by a life of self-governing rules that make you feel in control and successful (if accomplished) at the end of the day. Yet, more often than not, you feel like a failure and think that God is disappointed or even mad at you.

His love is not based on your goodness. It is not based on your successes or failures. He does not love you more when you have a good day then when you have an “extra grace required” day. You are not approaching the Father in your own righteousness— for your righteousness apart from Jesus is filthy rags. So if you think that you can more easily approach God when you’ve successfully kept all of your rules then stop it! That is merely a path leading to arrogance or separation— based on you and your performance and not Him and His righteousness.

Your constant apologies throughout the day will never change you but rather distort your view of God and lead you to become worn down and exhausted. They dilute and mask true repentance. The exhaustion of being your own “Holy Spirit” (which is not holy) will leave you in a compromised state that will make you vulnerable to true temptation and sin.

It is time for you to bask in the beauty of Christ and turn your heart toward a posture of gratitude for what Jesus did for you and provided for you through His grace, love, mercy and for being the perfect, unblemished sacrifice that atoned for your sins. Then, trust HIS Spirit within you to usher you into true repentance (when needed) that will set you free of sin and the cycles of sin. You will know when repentance has come rather than the deluted, self indulgent repetitive apologies that lead to no change— they merely lead to setting more rules for yourself.

Isn’t it time to wake up each morning with hope and gratitude for what you’ve been freely given? Wake up knowing that you’re surrounded by His perfect love. That will make you want to get out of bed and start the day— it will bring joy to your heart. As for the condition of the world around you— He holds the nations in His hands and He is still ruling over nations and knows what He is doing. He loves the nations far more than we do. One day, every knee will bow and confess Him as Lord.

Finally, surrender control, stop apologizing (that’s not repentance!), rid yourself of self-imposed rules and shake off the depression that has come upon you as you have viewed your life as a set of rules leading to sure failure.

Here is the love that surrounds you:

Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Receive His love and begin loving yourself so that you can love others.

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