By Kathi Pelton
The longer you live the more you face those hard moments where you know that your “why” will not be answered. Yesterday was one of those days for me.
My husband and I just talked about this subject in our latest podcast episode of “Finding Home Podcast” and although we only meant to make mention of it— we ended up talking about it for the full hour. It’s a subject that many avoid but that can impact our faith and trust if we cannot make peace with it.
A very dear friend and mentor of mine, who is now in his 80s, recently was having a conversation with me and his final sentence was,
“Kathi, you have to make peace with the mysteries.”
It was a truth that I already had been reaching for over many years but when he said it— it just went deep.
There are things that we just don’t understand— that we know that God has (had) the power to change— yet he didn’t. That is when the whys flood our minds and yet I remember that even if he answered my whys it might not satisfy my very limited understanding of the eternal truths that he holds.
Yesterday a friend died. It was another loss of someone I love deeply. But I am choosing to not get stuck in the why but to embrace the peace that is offered regarding mysteries and life’s losses. There is a deep comfort in surrendering the whys and exchanging them for an abiding trust in his goodness.
My whys remind me of when my children were two years old and went through the “why” stage. Everything that happened or every decision I made throughout the day was met with their little voice saying, “Why Mommy.” Yet, when I offered an answer their faces made it clear that they did not comprehend my reasons. Often my answer was followed up with yet another, “Why?”
Just like my little two year olds questions, that there would no satisfying answer for, our why questions regarding the mysteries of God would probably be met with the same confusion if he tried to answer us.
For me, the best answer he gives me is in the form of a question,
“Daughter, do you trust me?”
So I press past my demand for an answer and allow my heart to surrender to the peace of trusting in him when I don’t understand why something happened.
My why is exchanged for this answer,
“Yes, I make a choose once again to trust you! I release my whys in exchange for the peace that comes with trusting that you know why and that you are still good.”
The one thing that I’ve discovered in the many “why moments” in my life that were accompanied by a loss or by pain; is that in time I have watched the Lord write a redemption story that became a powerful testimony of his love amidst loss. It comes with time but it always comes.
As I take time to process the loss of my precious friend I will not get stuck in the question why that will not have a satisfying answer— but I will make peace with the mystery and trust in God again. One day I will understand but most likely it will be when I have passed from this life. That is okay— because just as I desired my two year old children to trust me— I will trust him and not get struck in the why.
“LORD, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp.” Psalm 131:1
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“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”’
Numbers 6:24-26
Episode 15 is LIVE!
“Make Peace With The Mystery.”
This book has helped so many people who are walking through a wilderness season— longing to find home again. If you need help to find that door of hope that leads you home— this book is for you.
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