From Hope Deferred to Desire Fulfilled

By Kathi Pelton

It was August of 1987 I was jolted out of a dream—where my greatest desire had been fulfilled—back into the reality of my constant state of hope deferred. In the dream I held my baby daughter. It hadn’t felt like a typical dream; It seemed I had actually been taken somewhere and held my desire fulfilled for the very first time. I had never felt such love or beheld such beauty. When I awoke it was as if she was torn from my arms, and deep waves of grief flooded my soul.  

 

My husband and I had been trying to conceive a baby for years with no success. We had gone through all the medical tests and the problem was with me. I had been going through fertility treatments for over two years at that point, with no sign of improvement. I’d often find myself wondering why so many women who didn’t want their babies or who considered them “disposable” could conceive but my husband and I, who ached for a baby, were left barren. I knew God had not abandoned us but I did not see His plan in this. 

 

Four months after my beautiful dream, we received a call from a pastor who had recently counseled a fifteen-year-old mother; four months earlier she had given birth prematurely to a little girl and this mother wanted to give her up for adoption. The pastor had heard that we wanted a baby but were unable to conceive, and the Lord put it on his heart to call us and ask if we were interested in adopting this little girl. 

 

We were overwhelmed with excitement and immediately said “yes!” Although it took nine months from the day of that phone call to walk out the miraculous story of getting our daughter, not only did we get to bring her home just before her first birthday, but I was four months pregnant when we did! We found out that she was born the same month I had the dream of holding my baby daughter, and the name that her young birth mother gave her meant “longed for” or “desired one.”

 

Now, thirty years later, I am watching our youngest daughter and her husband face the same pain. After years of trying to conceive a child they are in that painful grip of hope deferred. I see the pain in their eyes and the helpless struggle that her husband feels to comfort his wife as she silently aches inside. As her mom, I keenly understand the pain, the constant ache, and the many thoughts of “Why?”

 

The beauty of my story of adoption and the pain of my daughter’s journey of hope deferred made the recent news of the late-term abortion bill in New York State that much more of a sting. The issue has been before us for decades, but for whatever reason this particular ruling has acted as a tripwire that woke many out of the spiritual stupor of prayerlessness. It ignited a burning desire to see this horrific, defiling waste of life stop. 

 

As I prayed the Lord showed me that the church has been in a continuous “ebb and flow” of prayer regarding the issue of abortion. With every ebb the enemy would take that time to advance his agenda to kill the sons and daughters of tomorrow. His deceptions and lies would advance his cause to rob God, and rob the world, of the very inheritance the Son died for. Each year nearly sixty million abortions occur worldwide. Sixty million! 

 

If that fifteen-year-old girl had given into the “ease” of solving her unwanted pregnancy through abortion, our daughter would not exist. That beautiful baby that fulfilled my greatest longing would have been merely a statistic that only our God truly grieved for. 

 

Most abortions are not performed on teens, but rather women in their young twenties. If only they knew that what they carried in their wombs could fill the arms of a couple that longed to cherish and love a son or daughter! If only they understood that even before this child’s conception, God dreamed of this life, made plans for this life, and knew this life  intimately. 

 

If only we, as His people, had stopped to pray. 

 

Something has happened, and it has awakened the church and awakened women to rise up and fight for these little lives that cannot fight for themselves. Their mothers have been blinded and deceived by the enemy of God, the deceiver who has written a different narrative telling our culture that a life is not a life until it is outside of the womb. God forgive us for our prayerlessness and for not facing the evil giant called abortion. 

 

Together we are now going as one, in the power of His might and the name of His Son, to face this giant until it is defeated. No more ebb and flow, but rather a continuous flow of resurrection power coming from those who have received LIFE!  May the word adoption replace abortion and may hope deferred be replaced by desires fulfilled. 

Choose life!

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